A Golden Dawn Given to Me By the Hand of God

A Golden Dawn Given to Me By the Hand of God | Karma From Smearing Sri Chinmoy


I’m calling this blog post blog article #4.5. As you can see, it’s kind of only half the length of all the other previous articles of my Karma from Smearing Sri Chinmoy blog articles. As well, as I’ll explain in my next blog article, for some reason, the number 4.5 (or 45, or 9) are extremely important to me. In addition to karma, these blog articles also discuss a spiritual communication with the Master.

In my 4th and previous blog article, Sri Chinmoy’s Smear Against Me, I indicated how it became very challenging for me to help my daughter with the emotional neglect/abuse she had endured due to parental alienation against me by her mother, Erin, partially due to the fact that I ended up in a mental health clinic and was wrongly diagnosed with schizophrenia.

However, this mire I entered into as a result of the inner experience I described in my aforementioned 4th blog article wasn’t just simply some sort of stain or harm inflicted upon my life. It was more like a golden opportunity given to me for me and my daughter to have a better life.

Due to the fact that I was stuck involuntarily at the Abbie Lane mental health clinic in Halifax, Nova Scotia, I was not able to make it to a mid-June 2012 Family Court hearing, and a new Court Order, called a Variation Order, was established in my absence suspending all my access to my daughter. This stipulation would be until a new Court Order could be established. Also, despite this stipulation in the 2012 Variation Order suspending my access, Erin (the mother) was at liberty to allow me to see our daughter at her discretion, although she did not.

Another significant piece of the puzzle causing me to be in this mire of trying — and unable — to help my daughter through a legal process was the ill-advised decision by my 2012 and 2013 Nova Scotia Legal Aid lawyer, whom I’ll simply refer to as Susan, to put a stipulation in my and Erin’s new 2013 Court Order that I need a letter from a psychiatrist before I could make any further application to the Family Court.

I just assumed that Susan knew what she was doing. She advised me that there was no way I could dispute that I have schizophrenia — a specious reason proposed by Erin as to why I could be some kind of threat to or couldn’t be trusted around our daughter — in Family Court if a psychiatrist is already saying that I do indeed have this mental illness. A judge would just simply dismiss that claim if I were to argue that and would only go by a psychiatrist’s opinion. Although that is, unfortunately, most likely true (from what I gather thus far), I still to this day do not understand why Susan felt one of the best things to do moving forward involved a stipulation in the new Court Order indicating I need a letter from a psychiatrist about how I am doing and whether or not I’m taking my medication after I had explained to her that I had been wrongly diagnosed.

I did not require a letter to establish the original 2005 Court Order, for example, giving me unsupervised access to my daughter about 24% of the time up until 2012 when she turned 8 years old. But then psychiatrists entered into my life and suddenly there was an issue even though I had not done anything wrong to my daughter.

Also, according to Susan, my intention to argue the truth, which partially involved clarifying Erin’s accusations against me in her affidavits, and thus fight for what I felt would be best for my daughter, had to be done in a step-by-step manner. However, I still don’t understand why I would have to challenge Erin’s 2012 and 2013 affidavits through a step-by-step process when the so-called justification for establishing the 2012 Variation Court Order (which, as I said, was established due to my absence) in the first place was entirely specious. It was as though she was not only on the Erin’s side but providing me some sort of cookie cutter solution for me instead of learning the intricacies and customizing

I had a really difficult time understanding what Susan was doing due to my anxiety, which has often manifested as a social anxiety and contributed to my misdiagnosis, and because she often used jargon that I couldn’t follow. She even signed our new 2013 Court Order on my behalf without even my realizing that she had done that or even that a new Court Order was being established!

As I alluded to above, you may think that the inner experience of mine I described in my aforementioned 4th blog article, Sri Chinmoy’s Smear Against Me, had done nothing but cause me problems. Well, that is not true.

As I briefly indicated in that 4th blog article, I had a lingering crack addiction mentality that year, which was 2012. That was the year I had last relapsed, but nonetheless, it’d be kind of hard to fight for what you feel is best for your daughter through a legal process — which I had already intended to begin doing back then — when you’d recently relapsed about a month prior to the mother’s affidavit. There was no need to work against me as I was trying to and wanted to do everything I could to stop (and therefore could have used support). (I had first tried this drug 1.5 years prior in a pathetic attempt to self-medicate myself to give myself more confidence at starting conversations, particularly with members of the opposite sex.)

However, I wasn’t prepared back then to challenge very well what Erin was presenting against me to the Family Court, and I most likely wouldn’t have achieved much success.

As I said in a previous blog article, Parental Alienation: Evidence of Harmful Effects to Mental Health, around mid-2012, Erin pre-emptively constructed an affidavit against me entirely to defame me as though I was out of control or completely and deliberately heading in the wrong direction AND an abusive father. She did this — as well as kept my then 8-year-old daughter away from me for 8 months — so that she wouldn’t lose against me in court had I made an attempt to fight for custody in advance of her 2012 affidavit.

Generally speaking, had I not been tied up in at the Abbie Lane mental health clinic in Halifax due to the inner experience I described in my 4th blog article, Sri Chinmoy’s Smear Against Me, and therefore been able to make it to the mid-June 2012 Family Court hearing, the outcome probably would have been a lot less ideal than what is now happening and what will take place.

There is much more to it, though. For example, it has become an amazing story which I get to enjoy writing, be proud of, and share with others.

I describe more positive results throughout my story, The Struggle Within. Currently, Vol. 1 is available as an ebook. I shall be publishing subsequent volumes in the near future. Sri Chinmoy did not make my life worse by helping me to have the inner experience I described in my 4th blog article, he made my life better, while also justifiably helping me to deal with karma I had endured from past behaviour.

Sometimes things like that are not easy to understand until you understand the story a lot better.

As I will indicate in my next blog article, Sri Chinmoy not only knew what He was doing, He knew what He was doing before I was even born. #45


Arjuna D. Ghose lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada (most of the time). When he's not working on writing for this blog or his multi-volume memoir, The Struggle Within, he's usually working on web design and development projects or trying to help his daughter to help ensure she grows up believing in herself, with happiness, and making good choices. He became a member of the Sri Chinmoy Centre in 1994 and continues to follow the teachings of Sri Chinmoy with the intention of making continuous progress toward the goal of fully actualizing and manifesting his spiritual nature.

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