Hi, my name is Arjuna D. Ghose, and I am the author of The Struggle Within. ‘Jacob C. Miller’ is the name I use for myself in my memoirs to protect the privacy of my daughter. I became Sri Chinmoy’s disciple in 1994, when I was 18 years old. On his path I developed an inner hunger to be fed by God’s Peace, Light, and Bliss and to be guided by God’s Grace. As a child I had learned about Jesus and regularly went to church with my mother but as a teen I became lost in anxiety and addiction and had little guidance or support at home to put me back on the right path. While learning about the spiritual life through experience and by reading Sri Chinmoy’s books, i developed an appreciation and respect not only for Sri Chinmoy but for all paths to God. It was Sri Chinmoy’s path that eventually saved me from total destruction.
I started writing my story, which is part memoir but mostly journal or diary format, in October 2010. I don’t consider myself a saint, but i do think i have been Helped. It is this Help that has helped inspire me to begin writing and continue writing my story. I mostly try not to teach anything in my story; i just simply tell the complete truth about what is happening and what has happened. In my story, I am the student, and the teacher, the one whom I believe wrote the story long ago, is my Inner Pilot, God. I can’t claim to be able to define God very well, but it is my belief that God is like a tree and Sri Chinmoy, Jesus Christ, the Buddha, Sri Krishna and so forth are all branches of that tree, and that tree is our own Highest Self. Jesus Christ said, “I am the way and the Goal. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Aspiration is the only way to God. Both Sri Chinmoy and Jesus Christ embody aspiration, the way, and salvation, the Goal. All roads lead to Rome. Sri Chinmoy said, “There exists only one goal that is Truth, but this goal is expressed and at the same time is sought in different forms.” I invite you to become closer to God through whichever approach that’s best for you.