What I would like to point out in this, the 11th article in my Karma from Smearing Sri Chinmoy series, is how Dr. Potlick, the forensic psychiatrist who met with me one time whose accusations I am disputing to permanently remove the schizophrenia label against me, has contradicted Dr. Nelson, the psychiatrist I met with for 4.5 years simply in an attempt to get a letter from her to help my daughter through the Family Court.
It is common to receive a specious argument from a psychiatrist since they can’t, or won’t, try to get an in-depth look at what is going on with you. What problems you’re facing. And it is particularly hard when they won’t listen to you, when they’ve already made up their minds and concluded you have no insight.
I have never heard any psychiatrist I’ve dealt with offer any kind of deep or profound explanation about a claim they are making about me.
For instance, all Dr. Potlick stated in his Nov. 15, 2018 NCR (Not Criminally Responsible) report against me regarding whether the medication I was taking was helping was that:
First of all, I did not INTERPRET these “touches” from Sri Chinmoy as “pokes” — I simply (and less eloquently) described how they sometimes FEEL. I don’t know the proper words to use, but I think one of the best terms would be “divine touches” which are bestowed upon me through spiritual communication from the Master.
I DO NOT feel that I am being PHYSICALLY touched by Sri Chinmoy. It is all done through SPIRITUAL communication, although you can feel it physically. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to describe it any better than that. I didn’t take a course on how to articulate this well. Which means it’s frustrating when I describe my experiences. The words I use mean one thing to me while psychiatrists use those same words to mean something totally different to them.
Actually, I have video evidence of these so-called tactile hallucinations. These “divine touches” probably appear to an average onlooker to be simply muscle twitches, the kind of thing that just about everybody experiences from time to time. But they are not. I am currently waiting for an appointment with a doctor to help me get a referral to a medical specialist to look at these videos, ideally to eliminate any possible medical explanation — specifically any common or routine experiences.
You can view these videos below (NOTE: Some of the muscle/lower eyelid movement you may not be able to see very well because of the quality of the videos. You may be able to notice the movement better if you view with your cellphone):
Note: I can’t see the movement of the small muscle very well if I view the video on my laptop, but it does show up well when I view the video on my phone. You may have to watch the video on your phone in order to see the movement.
How are they HALLUCINATIONS if you can see them?
Dr. Potlick referred to the “poking” as a tactile hallucinations throughout his report.
And he contradicted Dr. Nelson and Myth Nimson, the occupational therapist who sat in on all my sessions with Dr. Nelson.
In an email from Myth dated June 1, 2016, he stated that these “divine touches,” which he saw in at least one of my videos, were naturally occurring muscle twitches. And he stated that he considered my interpretation of these so-called muscle twitches to be delusions of reference, a delusional conviction that gives ordinary events, objects, or behaviours of others particular and unusual meanings specifically for oneself.
They simply make claims that are in line with their beliefs.
A hallucination involves the senses. It feels real but is not. And yet as you can plainly see, they are indeed real. A delusion is a false belief that persists in spite of evidence. And yet no specialist ever viewed these videos to help determine whether they are, indeed, regular, everyday muscle twitches. I wonder how it could be that these “touches” often FEEL extremely kind, encouraging, helpful, and divine when they are supposedly just simply beliefs.
It may look in the videos that these “touches” FEEL a certain way. Well, I’m trying to DESCRIBE to you how they feel.
I was experiencing “blows” back in 1999. They were a kind of “divine touch” akin to a “slap on the bum.” These types of blows that I was experiencing those days appeared to be very strange muscle spasms. I showed them to my girlfriend at the time. She was quite freaked out by it and exclaimed, “It looks like there’s an alien inside of you!!”
But that’s not the kind of “touch” that the above videos have captured. As I said, I’m not the best at putting to words the way these various kinds of “touches” feel. In the videos above, I have captured what I call — based on how they feel — “regular touches” and “divine touches”. All of them, however, are subcategories of “divine touches”. With “blows” and “regular touches”, the divinity is more hidden.
Actually, a “divine touch” doesn’t ever feel UN-divine; it is just that the TIMING of it sometimes, such as when I’m angry, could cause me to interpret it as humiliating.
Dr. Potlick stated that I experienced “no remission” of my chronic delusional beliefs or my tactile hallucinations even while compliant with the medication.
So, let’s take a look at what Dr. Nelson and Myth Nimson said about this.
From Myth, in his letter dated May 26, 2014, based on Dr. Nelson’s opinions of me:
“In the fall of 2013, Jacob’s mental health deteriorated because he stopped taking his medications and required a short hospitalization. At that time, he agreed to receive a long-acting injection of the Risperidone.”
How can it be known that my mental health deteriorated because I had stopped taking my medications when, simultaneously, I also did not go into remission even when compliant with my medications?
Also, I did not REQUIRE a short hospitalization, I was LEGALLY FORCED to go against my will, where I was forced to take medication. This was because Dr. Nelson misjudged me based on a close family member’s delusional beliefs about me.
I’ve been explaining to them from the beginning that the antipsychotic medication has no impact on my spiritual communication with Sri Chinmoy or whether I delusively and mistakenly find fault with him or my FAITH that he inwardly helps me. Why WOULD antipsychotic medication help me with that kind of thing?
These people prevented me from helping my daughter through the Family Court because of Dr. Nelson’s opinion of me. There was no way I could go before a Family Court judge and claim I did not have schizophrenia. A judge would only rely on a psychiatrist’s opinion for that and simply dismiss me as having no insight. He would accuse me of not owning up to who I am if I tried to do that. If you would like to read how I ended up talking to Dr. Nelson in the first place, please view this article about how Sri Chinmoy, as my Higher Self, tricked me.
Two years after the above letter from Nimson, on June 8, 2016, I had the following conversation with Myth and Dr. Nelson. I had begun to go off the antipsychotic medication a month before. The following are their exact words:
So, have you experienced a lot of the humiliation-pokes these days?
Oh, okay. Why not?
Because Guru adjusts his way of dealing with me.
Oh, okay. And is there anything that you’re doing that has eliminated those humiliation-pokes?
I don’t know, but I have noticed that I am less angry and cynical, generally speaking, over the last… since 2014.
So, is it possible, Jacob, that since 2014 that might be linked with the medicine?
That’s what I’m wondering from you.
I think it likely is.
You think it’s linked to the medication?
So, how is it possible that the medication has helped me to have fewer moments of cynicism and anger and humiliating so-called “pokes,” and yet I also did not go into remission?
When I’ve done well while OFF the medication, they paid no attention to it. If I briefly became angry or upset (likely triggered by a false accusation) while ON the medication, it was because I needed a more potent medication. When I became angry or indignant while I was NOT compliant with the antipsychotic medication, it was, according to them, because I had gone off my medication. Except for anxiety, I do just as well ON the medication as I do OFF, but they pay no attention to that. They simply make superficial claims that are in line with their predispositions, failing to acknowledge that, in order to get at the truth, they need to delve into my case and my beliefs a lot more deeply. They need to look at the evidence objectively, without prejudice.