A Short Story Illustrating How I’ve Been Accused
This is the story of the leather belt that was too big. In it, I give an example of how I’ve been falsely accused. Specifically, I try to demonstrate how I’ve been falsely accused by Dr. Nelson — the psychiatrist I met with for four and a half years solely in attempt to get a letter about my mental health so that I could help my daughter through the Family Court — and a close family member who spoke to psychiatrists about me.
I was with family a few days ago when one of them asked if I could walk to the nearby liquor store to get her some vodka. I asked her if a certain other family member had an extra belt I could wear because I forgot mine. She thought one of hers would fit and went to get it.
I tried it on, and it turned out it was way too big. If I put the buckle tongue in the first hole, it hung off me like some kind of leather hula hoop fed through the belt loops of my jeans. Naturally, my jeans were starting to slide down over my bum. I couldn’t go to the store like that, so, I told my family member it didn’t fit.
But this family member didn’t believe me. She thought I didn’t have something figured out, which is the typical way she deals with me. She said, “Pull your pants up.”
I repeated, “It doesn’t fit.”
“Pull your pants up over your hip.”
Again, my pants had to be pulled up because I didn’t have a belt that fit — but pulling them up didn’t magically make the belt fit, either.
See? “It doesn’t fit!”
Again, she was insistent.
So, I insisted she look at the belt.
In her stupor, she inspected it slightly but hardly snapped out of her delusion. She said nothing.
I asked, “Why wouldn’t you just listen to me?”
Finally, she admitted that she thought I didn’t have my pants on right.
But, of course, she never snaps out of these kinds of delusions or thinks that maybe she should just listen to me in the first place. She implied that I didn’t know what I was talking about. This epitomizes how this particular family member has been treating me all this time. Worse yet, she’s been helping the psychiatrists believe I have schizophrenia, all while smearing me to the mother of my child.
And Dr. Nelson, the psychiatrist I didn’t want to deal with but did so anyway in order to get a letter for the Family Court, treated me the same way.
They don’t listen to me and try to get me to think something else must be true. They accuse me of not doing something right or not having something figured out right, like I don’t know any better. Like I’m an idiot. From Dr. Nelson — who appeared to have discriminatory beliefs about me — it resulted in naysaying. From this family member it usually results in micromanaging and infantilizing.
But what is true is that I can’t prove my spiritual communication with Sri Chinmoy or many other things — such as the fact that I do know what I’m doing — the way I could show this family member the belt didn’t fit, and so, much to my disadvantage, they go on believing their delusions.
This family member then went to get a belt from the other family member like I originally asked and it fit.