• a multi-volume spiritual memoir book
• spiritual memoir and spiritual awakening blogs

         Deep writing, very profound… Not a manuscript to read lightly, this could have seriously profound effects on the reader’s life. What a privilege to have studied as this man has.
   ~ Louise-Jayne Haddaway

Arjuna D. Ghose

Spiritual Memoir

The Struggle Within: The Wind’s Divine Melody

a true psychiatrist misdiagnosis and spiritual journey story


(Amazon Kindle and paperback)



(EPUB, MOBI, PDF, etc.)

~ a spiritual autobiography book ~
~ a psychiatrist misdiagnosis story ~
~ a parental alienation journey ~
Spiritual Memoir Mandala
         Deep writing, very profound… Not a manuscript to read lightly, this could have seriously profound effects on the reader’s life. What a privilege to have studied as this man has.
   ~ Louise-Jayne Haddaway


J      acob Miller’s anxiety disorder was so severe he couldn’t form meaningful friendships or find a romantic partner. His life was filled with anger, conflict, and shame. He wasn’t living as his spiritual Master, the venerable Sri Chinmoy, wanted but rather as his parents raised him — to be unfair in the face of humiliation. He no longer walked in the shadow of a great man but followed in the footsteps of petty people. Jacob’s mental health problems had brought him to the breaking point. Yet, his struggle within inspired him to write, and he found his voice at last. He questioned the opinions of the experts impeding his ability to help his daughter. Did he really have schizophrenia, or was he being guided inwardly by his Master? And if his mental health problems stemmed from childhood trauma and not schizophrenia, could he really talk to God? But he already knew the truth. Jacob’s story of karma, faith, and spiritual progress is an inspiration to anyone struggling with issues they think are beyond their control

“It’s normal for spiritual people to experience spiritual things — things most doctors wouldn’t understand.”
~ Arjuna D. Ghose

How to Bring
Your Inner Sun to the Fore

     When the problems of the outer being stand as an obstruction, cry inwardly. That cry is not for name or fame. That cry is for inner illumination. When the outer being is an obstacle, it means that the sun, the inner sun, is eclipsed by fear, doubt, anxiety, worry or some other negative force. Right now the sun is overcast, but it is bound to become visible again. The inner sun is covered by what? By ignorance, doubt, anxiety and worry. But consciously if you pray or meditate to bring the inner sun, your own illumined sun, to the fore, it will get strength and it will come forward. Now you have to know whether you want it or not. If you want the inner sun to come to the fore, then it will come forward. When the sun comes, at that time doubt disappears, fear disappears, everything undivine disappears.

     So either you have to bring forward the inner sun or you have to be satisfied with fear and doubt. How can you bring to the fore the inner sun? When you pray to the Supreme and meditate on the Supreme, always pray that the illumined part inside you, the illumined being or the inner sun, will come to the fore. Then you will see that there can be no obstacle. You are unable to walk along the street if the street is very dark or full of obstacles. But if the road is all illumined, then you can walk, you can run, you can go as fast as you want to. In the inner life also, if you think positively, if you think of Peace, Light and Bliss, then naturally your inner sun will come to your rescue. But if you don’t pray and meditate, then all obscure, undivine, impure forces will always come and bother you.

~ Sri Chinmoy [source]

Spiritual Lotus FlowerIn the Hindu religion, the lotus is used to represent divine beauty and purity, while the unfolding of its leaves represents the expanding of the soul and spiritual awakening.
The Struggle Within: The Wind’s Divine Melody is a true story about spiritual experiences and overcoming anxiety, addiction, abuse, and spiteful actions. Jacob’s (later known as Arjuna) journey is one of personal and spiritual growth, but the stakes are higher than just “inner peace”. He is fighting to help his daughter. The preview for Vol. 2 will soon be available as an e-book.

Karma from Smearing Sri Chinmoy Blog Articles:
a spiritual memoir blog ~

Karma: 1. Action that has consequences; 2. Fate; Destiny | Who Is Sri Chinmoy | Unwise To Criticize A Spiritual Master | Spiritual Communication With Sri Chinmoy | What This Book and Blog Is About | Karma From Smearing
Karma From Smearing Inspires Sri Chinmoy Disciple Book [Read Me First]
This is the first article in the Karma from Smearing Sri Chinmoy blog article series, illustrating the severe consequences of defaming a spiritual Master.
Will Sri Chinmoy help me to get out of this mire? | Faith Is A True Medicine | Insufficient Faith | Spiritual Communication | Spiritual Improvements | Dark Night of the Soul | False Accusations | Spiritual Dryness | Healing Sickness | Faith In Yourself
The Importance of Believing in Yourself
It appears faith in myself and faith in God are a big part of what I need to seriously improve my mental health. It is a true medicine, because it heals.
Child Crying With Feather Stuck To Tear | False Accusations | Parental Alienation | Child Behaviour Problems | Deliberate Misbehaviour | Talking Badly About The Other Parent | Child's Mental Health
Father Alienation: How It Affected My Daughter
How did parental alienation against me affect my daughter’s relationship with me, her father? She often thought there were things wrong with me for starters.
Lotus Burning | Karma | Spiritual Experience | Spiritual Communication | Made To Look Bad | Sri Chinmoy | Wrongly Diagnosed
A True Story of a Spiritual Experience: Sri Chinmoy’s Smear Against Me
A spiritual experience I call ‘The Sri Chinmoy Burn’. I was tricked and made to look bad by none other than my own Higher Self — my karma for smearing Sri Chinmoy.
Hidden Hand of God | Beautiful Dawn | Is It A Mire Or A Chance For A Better Life | Saved By Grace
A Golden Dawn Given to Me By the Hidden Hand of God
Usually, it’s not easy to understand how the hidden Hand of God is working in someone’s life until you understand their story a lot better.
Beautiful Sunset | Age of Spiritual Ascension | New Age of Spiritual Awakening | Numerology | The Golden Age Began in 2012 | Sri Chinmoy | New World
Did the Golden Age Began in 2012?
Did the Golden Age begin in 2012? Are we now in a new age of spiritual awakening? These numbers may answer those questions.
Aum~Mission: Helping the poor and mistreated
Aum~Mission: a Mission of Helping Others In Need
Find out how my spiritual awakening led me from dreaming about ways to make money to starting a non-profit devoted to helping people in need.
Let It Be | Being separated from your child | Father-daughter time | Mother Mary comes to me | Think Positively | Don't Give Up | Think About Your Child And Not Yourself | Keep Trying
In Times of Trouble, What Should We Do?
We all face troubles, but how we react to them changes the outcomes. I discuss how I face problems with my daughter, my mental health, cancer, and the legal system head-on so that I never give up hope.
Discoloured Flowers | Making Someone Look Bad | Specious Accusations | False Accusations | Negative Perspective | Cynical | Defamation
What Do I Mean When I Say I Smeared Sri Chinmoy?
When you attack someone, you often become what you accuse them of being. The lies I spread about Sri Chinmoy were vicious yet they made me weak. How can I use that information to prove that I may be delusional but I’m not schizophrenic?
Specious Arguments vs. Spirituality | False Accusations | Being Misunderstood | Naysaying | Emotional Abuse
Psychiatrist Misdiagnosis: My ‘Impaired’ Judgment
I’ve experienced the hell of a psychiatrist misdiagnosis. It caused me a lot of stress. But apparently that can be dismissed as impaired judgement.
There is a great difference between perception and intuition. - Sri Chinmoy
How Do Psychiatrists Diagnose Me?
How do psychiatrists diagnose? I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. A misdiagnosis formulated by using perception based off a superficial observation.
Gentle Touch | Divine Touches | Spiritual Communication | Muscle Movement
Divine Touches – Are They Tactile Hallucinations?
A divine touch is a spiritual experience. It is something that psychiatrists do not have knowledge of. Therefore, according to them, there is no such thing.
This Is Not My Secret - It's Yours | Parental Alienation | Behaviour Problems | Getting a child to keep secrets | Emotional Abuse | Emotional Neglect
Behaviour Problems in a Child: A Sign of Abuse?
Can a child’s behaviour problems at school be linked to mental abuse at home? A disturbing look at my relationship with my daughter and my attempts to fix it in person and in court.
Lotus Behind Bars | Punishment Pays | Divine Touches | Humiliation Blows
Spiritual Punishment from God?
Did I experience spiritual punishment from Sri Chinmoy? It’s hard to answer that question unequivocally, but here is an experience of mine that may clarify.
Leather Belt | False Accusations | Not Listening
A Short Story Illustrating How I’ve Been Accused
A giant leather belt serves as a metaphor for the way I – and many others with mental health issues – are treated, ignored and misunderstood.
Lady Justice | Disservice | Mistreatment | Discriminatory Beliefs
My Complaints Against Nova Scotia Legal Aid Lawyer “Susan”
My complaints about some of my antagonists, ones who don’t realize they played that kind of role. They provided a disservice due to discriminatory beliefs.