Divine Touches – Are They Tactile Hallucinations?
As stated in a subsequent blog article, I have experienced spiritual punishment from my Master Sri Chinmoy. This spiritual punishment was mostly administered through various forms of divine touches. A divine touch is something you can feel physically but has a spiritual communication behind it. (At least according to my experience.) That means it FEELS many different ways. The Master can communicate an encouraging feeling to you or he can startle away a thought of self-doubt before it lowers your consciousness. He can also humiliate you.
We painfully call it
We shall call that very thing
~ Sri Chinmoy [Source: Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, part 232]
Mostly they feel good. They can communicate love and affection. But sometimes they can be like a punishment and inflict humiliation. I call these “blows”. These don’t occur with me anymore. In the past, I had reacted to these humiliation-blows with vengeance. One of the things I did was I went to psychiatrists in attempt to prove this was not a mental illness and “expose” Sri Chinmoy as though he was doing something bad to me. That is one of the ways psychiatrists became an impediment in my life.
What I would like to point out in this, the 11th article in my Karma from Smearing Sri Chinmoy series, is how Dr. Potlick, the forensic psychiatrist who met with me one time and whose accusations I am disputing to permanently remove the schizophrenia label against me, has contradicted Dr. Nelson, the psychiatrist I met with for 4.5 years simply in an attempt to get a letter from her to help my daughter through the Nova Scotia Family Court.
It is common to receive a specious argument from a psychiatrist since they can’t, or won’t, try to get an in-depth look at what is going on with you. What problems you’re facing. And it is particularly hard when they won’t listen to you because they’ve already made up their minds and concluded you have no insight.
I have never heard any psychiatrist I’ve dealt with offer any kind of deep or profound explanation about a claim they are making about me.
For instance, all Dr. Potlick stated in his Nov. 15, 2018 NCR (Not Criminally Responsible) report about my medication was:
(I’ve also at times referred to these divine touches as ‘pokes’.)
First of all, I did not INTERPRET these divine touches from Sri Chinmoy as “pokes” — I simply (and less eloquently) described how they sometimes FEEL. I don’t know the proper words to use, but I think one of the best terms would simply be “divine touches” which are bestowed upon me through spiritual communication from the Master.
And if I interpret them as coming from my Master, then that is because of the plethora of undeniable evidence I’ve felt and experienced, evidence to which no psychiatrist has ever bared witness.
I DO NOT feel that I am being PHYSICALLY touched by Sri Chinmoy. It is all done through SPIRITUAL communication, through my connection with God, although you can feel it physically. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to describe it any better than that. I didn’t take a course on how to articulate this well. Which means it’s frustrating when I describe my experiences. The words I use mean one thing to me while psychiatrists use those same words to mean something totally different (to them). Which, I know, means I should just keep my mouth shut. But as I’ve already said, the psychiatrists already became an impediment in my life because I went to them in a naive attempt to make Sri Chinmoy look bad.
Actually, I have video evidence of these so-called tactile hallucinations. These divine touches probably appear to an average onlooker to be simply muscle twitches, the kind of thing that just about everybody experiences from time to time. But they are not. I am currently waiting for an appointment with a doctor to help me get a referral to a medical specialist to look at these videos, ideally to eliminate any possible medical explanation — specifically any common or routine experiences.
You can view these videos below (NOTE: Some of the muscle/lower eyelid movement you may not be able to see very well because of the quality of the videos. You may be able to notice the movement better if you view with your cellphone).
Video of spiritual Master Sri Chinmoy “poking” me from beyond the grave by way of his spiritual capacity and my inner connection with him. Sri Chinmoy left the body in 2007. In the video, you see my arm and there is a small muscle moving on my arm.
Note: I can’t see the movement of the small muscle very well if I view the video on my laptop, but it does show up well when I view the video on my phone. You may have to watch the video on your phone in order to see the movement from the divine touch.
Sri Chinmoy touching me spiritually on February 17, 2015 by way of his spiritual capacity and my inner connection with him. These are what I call ‘regular touches.’ They FEEL regular (as opposed to divine). Watch my lower eyelid. Although I call these regular, they are technically divine since they come from Sri Chinmoy, but his divinity is hidden within the feeling of the touch.
Sri Chinmoy touching me spiritually on February 17, 2015 by way of his spiritual capacity and my inner connection with him. These are what I call ‘divine touches.’ They FEEL good, helpful, and divine. Watch my lower eyelid. Notice the degree in movement in comparison to what I call ‘regular touches’ as seen in the previous video at the following link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-DtNAOYRG0.
This is a video of a form of regular touches, taken on February 29, 2015. They are kind of a cross between touches and pokes. They FEEL SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT than the regular pokes in the video at the following link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJDFi1L8S8o. Watch below my eyebrow.
In this video, taken February 29, 2015, the touches are starting to FEEL BETTER (in comparison to regular touches below the eyebrow in the previous video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKizT00KgRE). They FEEL good and helpful and divine. So, I am calling them divine touches. However, all of the touches come from Sri Chinmoy (regular, humiliating, or divine), so they are indeed all divine. Please watch below my eyebrow.
How are they HALLUCINATIONS if you can see them? ALL divine touches that I’ve experienced since I first began experiencing them sometime in 1994 or 1995 move a muscle or a part of my body.
Dr. Potlick referred to the “poking” as a tactile hallucinations throughout his report.
And he contradicted Dr. Nelson and Myth Nimson, the occupational therapist who sat in on all my sessions with Dr. Nelson.
In an email from Myth dated June 1, 2016, he stated that these “divine touches,” which he saw in at least one of my videos, were naturally occurring muscle twitches, even though some would jerk my entire arm or leg. And he stated that he considered my interpretation of these so-called muscle twitches to be delusions of reference, a delusional conviction that gives ordinary events, objects, or behaviours of others particular and unusual meanings specifically for oneself.
They simply make claims that are in line with their beliefs without any real insight.
A hallucination involves the senses. It feels real but is not. And yet as you can plainly see, these are indeed real. According to Wikipedia, “A delusion is a firm and fixed belief based on inadequate grounds not amenable to rational argument or evidence to contrary”. However, from what I’ve learned thus far, the medical specialists can’t do anything to prove these muscle movements are simply fasciculation (muscle twitches naturally occurring with everyone). There is no way for medical tests to prove that it’s fasciculation. I wonder how it could be that these “touches” often FEEL extremely kind, encouraging, helpful, and divine when they are supposedly just simply beliefs and muscle twitches. They don’t FEEL like muscle twitches and never have. They feel like spiritual communication.
It may look in the videos that these “touches” FEEL a certain way. Well, I’m trying to DESCRIBE to you how they feel.
I was experiencing “blows” back in 1999. They were a kind of “divine touch” akin to a “slap on the bum.” The types of blows I was experienced in those days appeared to be very strange muscle spasms. I showed them to my girlfriend at the time. She was quite freaked out by it and exclaimed, “It looks like there’s an alien inside of you!!”
But that’s not the kind of divine touch that the above videos have captured. As I said, I’m not the best at putting to words the way these various kinds of “touches” feel. In the videos above, I have captured what I call — based on how they feel — “regular touches” and “divine touches.” All of them, however, are subcategories of “divine touches.” With “blows” and “regular touches,” the divinity is more hidden.
Actually, a “divine touch” doesn’t ever feel UN-divine; it is just that the TIMING of it sometimes, such as when I’m angry, could cause me to interpret it as humiliating.
Dr. Potlick stated that I experienced “no remission” of my chronic delusional beliefs or my tactile hallucinations even while compliant with the medication.
So, let’s take a look at what Dr. Nelson and Myth Nimson said about this.
From Myth, in his letter dated May 26, 2014, based on Dr. Nelson’s opinions of me:
“He continues to be on two medications: Effexor, an antidepressant, and Risperidone, an antipsychotic. Both have side effects. The most common are weight gain, sedation and akathisia.
“In the fall of 2013, Jacob’s mental health deteriorated because he stopped taking his medications and required a short hospitalization. At that time, he agreed to receive a long-acting injection of the Risperidone.”
How can it be known that my mental health deteriorated because I had stopped taking my medications when, simultaneously, I also did not go into remission even when compliant with my medications?
Also, I did not REQUIRE a short hospitalization, I was LEGALLY FORCED to go against my will, where I was forced to take medication. This was because Dr. Nelson misjudged me based on a close family member’s delusional beliefs about me.
I’ve been explaining to them from the beginning that the antipsychotic medication has no impact on my spiritual communication with Sri Chinmoy or whether I delusively and mistakenly find fault with him or with my FAITH that he inwardly helps me. Why WOULD antipsychotic medication help me with that kind of thing?
Dr. Nelson’s opinion of me prevented me from helping my daughter through the Family Court. There was no way I could go before a Family Court judge and claim I did not have schizophrenia. A judge would only rely on a psychiatrist’s opinion for that and simply dismiss me as having no insight. He would accuse me of not owning up to who I am if I tried to do that. If you would like to read how I ended up talking to Dr. Nelson in the first place, please read this true story about a spiritual experience I had. It is about how my own Higher Self tricked me.
Two years after the above letter from Nimson, on June 8, 2016, I had the following conversation with Myth and Dr. Nelson. I had begun to go off the antipsychotic medication a month before. The following are their exact words:
So, have you experienced a lot of the humiliation-pokes these days?
Oh, okay. Why not?
Because Guru adjusts his way of dealing with me.
Oh, okay. And is there anything that you’re doing that has eliminated those humiliation-pokes?
I don’t know, but I have noticed that I am less angry and cynical, generally speaking, over the last… since 2014.
So, is it possible, Jacob, that since 2014—that might be linked with the medicine?
That’s what I’m wondering from you.
I think it likely is.
You think it’s linked to the medication?
So, how is it possible that the medication has helped me to have fewer moments of cynicism and anger and humiliating so-called “pokes,” and yet I also did not go into remission?
When I’ve done well while OFF the medication, they paid no attention to it. (Because it’s not in line with their beliefs.) If I briefly became angry or upset (likely triggered by a false accusation against me) while ON the medication, it was because I needed a more potent medication. When I became angry or indignant while I was NOT compliant with the antipsychotic medication, it was, according to them, because I had gone off my medication. Except for anxiety, I do just as well ON the medication as I do OFF, but they ignore that. They simply make superficial claims that are in line with their predispositions, failing to acknowledge that, in order to get at the truth, they need to delve into my case and my beliefs a lot more deeply. They need to look at the evidence objectively, without prejudice.
Divine touches are simply not in their mental encyclopedia. According to their logic, only things they comprehend are possible.