~ Aum~Mission is a soon-to-be established not-for-profit corporation with the mission of helping others in need. ~
According to the first part of an inner message I received on April 24th, I was put on a mission back in 2001 when Sri Chinmoy compassionately asked me to leave His spiritual path. I wasn’t aware of that at the time, but, according to this message, apparently, I have now completed that mission. That part of the message was clear.
Sometimes some inner messages I receive from my Guru, my Inner Guide, Sri Chinmoy, aren’t clear enough for me to be able to say unequivocally that I did receive a message and what it was. I know that Sri Chinmoy could easily give me a very clear message, but sometimes He prefers for one (or part of one) to be quieter or more subtle.
If asking me to leave was setting me on a mission, and that mission is now complete, am I now allowed to return to the Sri Chinmoy Centre? That is the part of the above message that was not clear.
But why am I telling you this?
Because of the word “mission”.
* * *
In 1995, a fellow Sri Chinmoy disciple, who was good at numerology, quickly added up my birth date (September 13, 1975). She suggested that, because the numbers for this date add up to 8 (after adding the sum up to the final single digit), I’d be good at business. That was the seed that started my thinking of starting a business.
I received an inner message not long ago that something is up with the number 24. I’m not exactly sure what but the seed my fellow disciple planted in me, was planted 24 years ago. (Also interesting is that my daughter was born in 2004.)
I remember while I was in the midst of an intensely overwhelming graphic design program in Toronto, in the early 2000s, I started thinking that maybe I should start some kind of big company. I initially considered starting a graphic design firm, but that idea seemed off for some reason. I thought that having artistic talent and graphic design software expertise wasn’t enough, that I needed to be smarter than that AND that I should develop a large, impactful company that would make a lot of money, just to give me something to do, to accomplish something. The money I would use for good purposes, to help make the world a better place.
This was a goal I had set in lieu of being able to meditate in a nourishing way every day like I used to be able to do while on Sri Chinmoy’s spiritual path. I needed some kind of purpose that was truer and more loyal to my higher self, and I was struggling to find that. I wasn’t so sure about the idea of just simply trying to earn money after college and felt that graphic design wasn’t going to have enough of a positive impact. “Why work that much?” I thought. “So I can make money? And then what? Buy a house? And then what? Have a family? And then what?!”
Start some random massive company so that I could become extremely rich? Even if I did intend to use a lot of the money to help others, it wasn’t really in line with the spiritual philosophy I had learned from Sri Chinmoy. (At least that was my own personal interpretation.)
I needed a REASON for doing the things I was doing, which usually was working hard on graphic design projects and other forms of what some may call Karma Yoga.
All this thinking in the past was the genesis for what has now become Aum~Mission.
Aum~Mission is a not-for-profit organization I am forming. The first version of the website for Aum~Mission is now live. As Aum~Mission grows, the website will improve and grow along with it. Its mission is about helping others in need; specifically, the poor and mistreated. Given my own trials, these are two states of being that I am well acquainted with.
It was April 17th, 2019 when it fully dawned on me that this is definitely what I am going to do. Along with that realization, though, was a much more increased awakening of the fact that I had already began working on this years ago.
Looking at my past, I don’t know exactly that I could unequivocally declare a starting point.
Was it back in early 2017 when I started to realize, thanks to guidance from my Inner Guide, that my multi-volume book does indeed have a good point, specifically with respect to my efforts to help my daughter?
Or was it earlier back in March 2012 when I realized my daughter’s mother (Erin) was getting our daughter to keep secrets, and I noticed what it was doing to her psychologically, what it was doing to our relationship, and realized I had already begun compiling some evidence?
Or was it before then, when my daughter was born in 2004, giving me a new purpose in life?
I think 2001, when I wrote my poem, The Wind’s Divine Melody, not long after I was asked to leave Sri Chinmoy’s path by the loving and divine Sri Chinmoy, was the start of this mission.
This poem is about how I felt like a feather being blown around aimlessly in the wind. Since the wind was orchestrating my life, I made a request of it: bring me to a child that needs help. Ideally, this feather would then be blown right to her cheek, gently caressing it and become stuck to one of her tears, which essentially would give me a new purpose in life: I could now at least stay with her and never leave her.
I wrote this poem three years before I knew my daughter would even exist.
My mission started with a poem, a prayer to the Wind, but it was because of what happened over the following years, such as my daughter’s behavioural issues, which I had later learned were due to emotional abuse, that I began recording this story and thus also recording and compiling the evidence I would need to protect my daughter. And it is because of all the work I have been doing, recording the story, gathering evidence, and trying to employ the evidence into a positive outcome — all of which I have been chronicling into a multi-volume memoir, aptly called The Wind’s Divine Melody — that I had been gradually realizing, that this is my work, this is my business, this is the company I am supposed to start…
* * *
By 2016, I had realized I had a mass disarray of computer notes that I needed to organize.
In the midst of organizing I stumbled across some old notes that inspired the naming of this non-profit. I had decided to call it Aum~Mission, similar to ‘OmissionStudios’, the name I had given my web design company years prior.
I had several things on the go, but I decided that Aum~Mission should be the main company or organization. I wasn’t exactly sure, though, what that company would do. I felt that the various things I had been working on, including my book, internet marketing work, and web design, would be subsidiaries to the main business.
I then received an inner message around that time that I should incorporate. So, I thought Guru meant that he wanted me to establish a large incorporated company, the kind that would provide earned income to its shareholders.
In other words, I initially thought Aum~Mission would be some sort of conglomerate, like Microsoft, but that it’s main purpose would be to help others. (I also thought that ‘Aum~Mission’ would be kind of a weird name for a large, incorporated company.)
So, I didn’t know what Aum~Mission would do, but I wanted to make a lot of money and use the majority of that money to help make the world a better place, such as by helping those in need.
I did research and discovered that certain types of companies can be organized in such a way that they also do charity work in addition to generating revenue.
Over a year later, I realized that I didn’t need to actually start a company to begin doing positive work. I could offer my time, good-will, and my honest attempt at unconditional love to those who were already present in my life, such as a family member or an old friend. If a stranger walked up to me on the street and was hungry, I would buy him a meal, for instance, and I tried to view this as an example of an implementation of my work or mission in my day-to-day life.
This was me learning from within that this Aum~Mission dream I have, however it would eventually manifest, could be implemented in my current day-to-day life towards family members or strangers I stumble upon, etc. But that was still a work-in-progress, and I wasn’t really sure about what I was doing. As usual, I questioned myself.
* * *
Fast-forward to 2019.
I began putting all the work I’d been doing, challenging speciousness, fighting against parental alienation, trying to help my daughter to get into counselling, etc., into perspective. There have been a lot of various tasks I’ve been doing each day working on all this. And a lot of it has been volunteer or activism work.
On April 4, 2019, I made the following computer journal note to myself:
I realized then that, when Guru said I should incorporate, He wasn’t talking about a tech company or a graphic design firm, He was talking about a not-for-profit organization.
My computer journal note continues:
It took nearly two weeks, by April 17, for it fully dawn on me that I was really going to follow this path, that I was going to set up a not-for-profit organization, and I must say I was quite pleased with my idea. The next day, I made the following computer journal entry:
An intuitive-guide friend of mine recently had done a quick Tarot reading for me and declared with one of her cards that I had been only thinking of myself. I didn’t really realize that but thought maybe that was one of the reasons I’d been having so much anxiety at that time. While I’d been doing the various tasks to help myself get out of this mire, I’d been thinking too much about myself and how the outcome will impact me and help me feel better and, you know, maybe I’ll become successful. To better challenge this anxiety, perhaps I needed to be coming from a place of more consciously working for God. I started chanting to myself, “I am 100% doing this for God,” and “It’s not my business it’s God’s business,” as I went about my tasks, which included printing out the various items for Dr. ThisGuy (not to be confused with any other doctor I had mentioned yet), mailing it to him, getting Abigail’s Easter gift ready, and going to visit her, among others. I’ve adjusted my morning meditation to meditating for God’s Will to be done with all that I’m concerning myself with these days.
Naturally, of course, this sort of discipline is usually a long-term work-in-progress.
Just as I began thinking more that way, I stumbled upon the following passage in the Holy Geeta (i.e. in the commentary by Swami Chinmayananda) near the end of April, which I have been reading these days:
“The subtle difference between the activities of the ‘wise’ and the ‘ignorant’ may not strike the modern reader as very important unless his attention is directed towards its universal application. It is the anxious ‘desire for the fruit’s’ that dissipates the finer and nobler energies in the worker, and condemns his activity to utter failure. No doubt, even a Man-of-God, when he acts, must bring into his field of activity his own mind and intellect.
“The mind can function only when it is attached to something. It cannot remain alive, and yet, detached from every thing. ‘Detachment of the mind’ mentioned here is only its ‘detachment from the FALSE irresistible fascination for objects’ and this is gained through the process of ‘attaching itself to the NOBLER.’ Thus, when Lord Krishna says here, that the ‘wise’ man should work ‘without attachements’ he immediately indicates how this can be achieved. He advises Arjuna to act, ‘Desirous of guiding the world’ (Loka-sangraha).
“Attachment becomes a clog or a painful chain on us only when it is extremely ego-centric. To the extent we work for larger schemes to bless a vaster section of humanity, to that extent the attachment loses its poison and comes to bless the age. Many poisons serve as medicines in their diluted form, while the same in a concentrated form can bring instantaneous death! The ego and ego-centric desires bind and destroy man, but to the extent he can lift his identifications to include and accommodate in it, larger sections of the living world, to that extent the attachment gathers an ethical halo, a divine glow, and becomes a cure for our subjective pains and imperfections.
“Here the practical method suggested is that Arjuna should work, unattached to his own ego-centric, limited concept of himself and his relations, and he must enter into the battlefield as a champion fighting for a cause, noble and righteous, against the armies that have come up to question and challenge the deathless ‘values of higher living’ as propounded and upheld by the Hindu culture.”
Setting up this non-profit organization (Aum~Mission) means that I’m fighting for my ultimate aspirations with everything I’m doing these days and everything I will be doing in the future; it is all to work for God on earth, to help God spread His Light, to help those in need, to help make the world a better place for today’s children and tomorrow’s grandchildren.
For instance, several days ago I dropped off a picture of my landlord’s Bed and Breakfast license for my Social Assistance caseworker in Cole Harbour. She was going to confirm with her supervisor whether that will warrant me an increase in allowance.
But I was not lying to myself when I repeated to myself that I was doing that for God. Because, ultimately, any money I get currently from the government would be to help me to eat and live, enabling me to be able pursue my non-profit organization’s missions and require less of Aum~Mission’s resources to sustain myself.
As another example, the work I am doing to challenge psychiatrists in court has been not only to try to help me get out of the mire that I’ve been in, but also part of a longer term goal of improving the mental health care system.
With my new goal in mind it was time to reassess how my multi-volume memoir, The Struggle Within, and my web design business, OmissionStudios, fit into the picture. After further research I discovered both projects could stand as ancillary endeavours to Aum~Mission, which means they will be “providing necessary support to the primary activities or operation of an organization”. While I hope to receive some personal funding from the government to minimize my reliance on Aum~Mission, I know it won’t be enough. The Struggle Within and OmissionStudios can help provide the income I need to live while I work on Aum~Mission full-time, and any additional income they generate will go straight into funding Aum~Mission’s initiatives.
Was it my ‘mission’ from the very beginning to do the work needed to commence Aum~Mission? Was that the mission Sri Chinmoy divinely put me on when He asked me to leave His path back in 2001? It seems that way, and I do know that I am finally beginning to feel like I’m accomplishing something.
For a quick glimpse, the current five initiatives of Aum~Mission are as follows:
- • 1st Initiative: Helping Those Who Have Been Mistreated by the Legal System
- • 2nd Initiative: Fighting Against Parental Alienation
- • 3rd Initiative: Improving Mental Health Services
- • 4th Initiative: Funding to Help Sincere Underprivileged Excel
- • 5th Initiative: Support for Victims of Childhood Emotional, Sexual, and/or Physical Abuse
Here is how you can help: follow this link to the Aum~Mission GoFundMe Campaign for helping others in need.
For more information, please visit the Aum~Mission website.
“This action-arrogating-ego naturally starts feeling an anxiety for its success and a burning attachment for the results of its actions.”
– Swami Chinmayananda (from the Swami’s commentary on the Holy Geeta)